It turns out men and women are from Planet Earth

John Gray's "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" has long been a staple on the bookshelves of those seeking relationship advice. However, in the light of modern understanding of gender and relationships, this book stands out as a relic of a bygone era, one that does more harm than good in today's society.

Firstly, Gray's book is built on the foundation of gender essentialism, the idea that men and women are fundamentally different in their behaviors, desires, and communication methods. This concept, while perhaps appealing in its simplicity, is a gross oversimplification of the complex nature of human beings. It ignores the vast spectrum of gender identities and experiences, and it reinforces harmful stereotypes that pigeonhole individuals into rigid roles based on their gender.

Moreover, the book's approach to relationships is steeped in heteronormativity, completely disregarding the experiences and existence of LGBTQ+ individuals. In a world where we are increasingly recognizing and celebrating the diversity of human relationships, Gray's perspective seems outdated, exclusionary, and insensitive.

The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus also promotes a binary view of gender that is increasingly at odds with contemporary understandings of gender as a spectrum. This binary view can be damaging, as it invalidates the experiences of those who do not fit neatly into these categories, and it perpetuates a culture where gender non-conforming individuals are marginalized.

Furthermore, the book's influence has extended beyond the realm of relationship advice, seeping into popular culture and reinforcing stereotypes about men and women in various contexts. This normalizes these stereotypes, making it harder for individuals to express themselves outside of these predefined roles.

In essence, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" is a book that, while perhaps well-intentioned, is fundamentally flawed in its approach to understanding human relationships. Its reliance on outdated gender stereotypes and binary views of gender makes it a poor guide for navigating the complexities of modern relationships. In a world where we are striving for greater understanding and acceptance of the diverse spectrum of human experiences, Gray's book is a step in the wrong direction.

What topics usually come up in relationship discourse?

If you haven't heard about the Five Love Languages theory based on the 1992 book "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" by Gary Chapman, which rock have you been hiding under? We've lost count of the times people have said, "Acts of service are my love language" or "My partner's love language is gift giving," but that's just us. Jokes aside, Chapman was on to something, so check out the concept for ideas about communicating effectively and actions to avoid.

We have Dr. John Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse theory on the other end of the spectrum. Dr. Gottman and his wife Julie, a fellow psychotherapist, have dedicated their professional lives to relationship counseling and researching divorce prediction. According to Dr. Gottman, who has been married three times and has personal experience of the matter, four behaviors, if unaddressed, can predict divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. So, there you have it—yet more food for thought.

Our personality quizzes are set up a little differently than your basic trivia quiz, but you’ve probably seen their kind around. Rather than having to choose the right answer from a list of multiple choice options, in this case, there is no “right answer”! (Two plus two will always be four, but every Golden Girls character is equally awesome.)

So, stop stressing. Just click on the answer that suits you best, and enjoy the ride. These quizzes are just for fun but who knows – you might just learn something about yourself along the way!